FROM THE DESK OF SHAFIN From: Shafin Sentosa Island, Singapore Thursday, 6:27 P.M. Please don't read this unless you are looking for the love of your life. To: The love of my life, Have you ever wondered what your life would be like... WHEN you finally meet “Mr.Right”? I wrote this for you!!! Yes, there are going to be a few other “select” women who will read this letter until I find you, but it was meant for one and only one woman. If you are the person I wrote this for, you will realize it very quickly. If you are not the person I wrote this for... please stop reading this letter the instant that you discover it is not about you. It's hard to talk about yourself in a situation such as this... so I asked an old girlfriend what she thought I should share with you. She smiled and said "Shaf, you surprise me. You are the most confident, self-assured person I know... yet you come to me with a question that only a teenage schoolboy would ask. It's kind of funny Shafin... because that is where I think I went wrong in our relationship. See, when we first met I liked you a lot, maybe too much. I couldn't believe I had met such a great guy, a guy who had his life “so together”, a guy who was financially independent, a guy who loved helping people in need, a guy who loved taking care of his mom, a guy who knew how to make a woman feel safe, secure and cherished. You Were Almost Too Good To Be True!! The fact that you’re so confident in everything you do... without being conceited, I figured you had to be too good to be true. The truth was... I couldn't accept the fact that some one like you could be truly interested in somebody like myself... so... I sort of ran myself off! I just wasn’t accustomed to being treated with such kindness, love and respect. You know how to treat a woman so special and you make life exciting, just being around you. I think any woman with half a brain will... stop and listen to every word you have to say... just listen and imagine how wonderful life could be with you. So just be yourself and tell 'em who you are. Hopefully, the next one that comes along will have the self-esteem to grab onto you and never let you go the way I did." After hearing her say those words, I was moved. We had become great friends, but I never knew how she truly felt. She had run off to London in the middle of our relationship and came back a couple years later with this really nice French guy. At this point, we are such good friends, I wouldn't want to change our relationship, even if I had known how she felt. So, where do I start? How about right here on my dock, where I am... "I'm writing to you, from one of my favorite places... man I love this spot, it's a warm and comfortable evening, there is a great sunset over the sea, I have just had a wonderful dinner and I am snuggling up to my laptop with a glass of very interesting wine from South Africa: Nel Ellis '95 Chardonnay. You might think to have it with dinner, but it is an after dinner treat, like sweet vanilla lingering on your taste buds. And I am thinking to myself, "Shafin my man, in a way this wine is like the kind of woman you are looking for, sweet, stays with you, makes you want to drink her whole but sip her at the same time, aromatic, a touch of lemon and a vanilla fragrance. She rolls around on your tongue, you forever want to come back for another sweet taste and oh... what body!" "If I were to ask you what you think is the perfect man for you at this time in your life, what kind of images would flash through your mind? Maybe all you care about is looks (and that is just fine), maybe you like money, maybe it’s sex or freedom, time, whatever it is that a man might look like or give to you. What is it you find attractive and important, right now? As you think about that, here is a little something about me, see if I fit the description of the ideal man FOR YOU... I grew up in one of the most underdeveloped countries in the world. I know how to grow vegetables and use an outhouse. I grew up very lonely as the shy boy with a lot of self confidence issues. Now, I’m an educator and an entrepreneur who has worked very hard and smart to be able to live all that I have ever dreamt of and more. Maybe that is why I love being a mentor and helping others. I won't waste your time or anyone else's. I am very kind but up front too. I know what I want in life. I'm very sincere in my search. I'm moderately tall, dark, good looking, successful, thin, toned body. Young enough to do it and old enough to do it right. I dont smoke. I have lots of fun but I have no time for emotional hysterics. Also I'm intelligent and well educated and I dont care what anyone else thinks of me. I do what I want and when I want but you probably figured that out already. I’m a great kisser (you be the judge), sexy, classy, bright, adventurous, passionate, have a great sense of humor, enjoy traveling, good food, good wine and am very goal oriented. A man of integrity and strong character. I'm very affectionate, a good communicator, dynamic, charming, generous, and a risk taker. A highly modified and evolved kind of Virgo - September 14th. I am looking for someone to love and I am ready to get started, but that person must have their act together: no druggies, no drunks, no smokers, no emotional roller coaster rides, and no weak or wimpy types who don't think they are good enough for me. I adore a confident woman. I'm emotionally AND physically available. I've made my mind up: I'm going to find one exceptional woman to shower with love and affection, to hold, squeeze, kiss and caress, to communicate with, share thoughts and feelings with, to be active with. I enjoy a variety of activities, but most of all I would like someone special to do things with. I'm going to find a woman who has confidence in herself, is truthful, assertive, considerate, loves to laugh and have fun. The woman I'm going to find has always known that I've been out there looking for her but haven't found her... until now. She has a pretty face, a fit, shapely body and a sharp mind. Sex is going to be awesome, all over the place and lots of it in every conceivable position. So if you have a pacemaker or a bad hip... you should probably reconsider getting involved with me. (I told you I had a wicked sense of humor!) But seriously, I want a woman who is a joy to communicate with and look at. I want to look at her and wonder how I could be so lucky as to find someone so smart, sexy and passionate. I'm going to find a special woman I can't wait to come home to, take places, share ideas with, learn from, grow with and most of all who will be my best and dearest friend. If you... and yes, I do mean YOU... are this special woman... please send me a message now. In any moment a decision you make can change the course of your life forever... the very next email or phone call you send or receive could be the one single event that causes the floodgates to open, and all of the things that you've been waiting for to fall into place. Are you thinking to yourself, "This guy is too good to be real," or "This guy sounds like he thinks a lot of himself?" If so, you might be right. But, here’s how I look at my situation... You know what is wrong with big corporations, schooling and the world in general today? We are taught to focus on our weaknesses. Focusing on your weaknesses creates self-skepticism and self-doubt. Instead, we need to discover our strengths and work as a team with others who fulfill our weaknesses. When you focus on your talents, you excel at whatever it is you do and your self-confidence skyrockets. I am self-confident and to me that is good. Yes, I am sure I have some weaknesses, and that is exactly why men and women need each other... to compliment each other and fulfill each other's soft spots. You see, I know I need the right woman to create synergy with and long to have her in my life. Are you her? WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS REAL! If you're interested in finding out more about who I really am and what I'm all about, it will be time well spent. I promise you that. If you find yourself intrigued as you read this, it would be sad to see that you didn't make the effort to find out more... If you aren't moved by this message (so far) then frankly, it's not meant for you and you should not read any further. Are You Still With Me? I'm glad you’ve decided to investigate the man behind this sincere letter. Since you've elected to continue reading this letter, I believe you're more driven than most women. You're still reading because you have a burning desire to find... the right man for you. Isn’t that right? If there is a number you would be comfortable having me call you at, then email it to me. Sincerely Yours,   Shafin P.S. Have you ever wondered if there's a difference between the things we think will make us happy and the person that would truly fulfill us, deep inside? P.P.S. What’s that? You say you’d like to know even more about me? Okay, you asked for it... My Family History... My parents got separated when I was 4. My dad passed away when I was 7. I have one elder brother who lives in Houston and is a high level executive for a very large oil company. I also have a younger sister who recently got married in Singapore also. My mom is over achiever herself and she’s involved with human rights, trade unions, politics etc. She’s 67 yrs young now, and still trotting the globe. I'm very close to my mom but we hardly get time to spend time as we are both trying to bring a change in the world in our own ways. The Anatomy Of An Overachiever I was born in Dhaka, Bangladesh. I've lived in Dhaka until I was 12 years old. Then I was sent to the Army school to get, in the words of my mom, “a glimpse of reality”. Well the glimpse lasted about 6 years where I learnt everything from cleaning toilets (other people) to polishing boots (other people too). I learnt how to run 1 mile in 7 minutes and cross a 9 feet wall. And I learnt a whole lotta other stuff which I don’t even remember now. Those six years in that hell hole screwed up my teenage years totally but gave me something for which I’ll be ever grateful for, it made me a man who believes in himself.  After I passed high school, I did all sorts of jobs to support myself and a bit of my family, for a while I was teaching English to the locals, then I taught computers to beginners, worked as marketing executive, a copy writer etc. until I accidentally landed into this one job which was at a small institute as a lecturer of web development. My students were all Diploma level who were all at least 4-5 years older than me and I was just in my first semester in uni. How did this happen? Well ask me sometime in person if you are interested and I’ll tell you. It is a perfect example of when you truly passionately want something, it always has a way of manifesting itself into reality. After a couple of semesters in a Uni in Dhaka, I finally managed to save up enough money to move on to Canada and started studying psychology in Acadia University, one of the best private universities of Canada based in a small town called Wolfville, in Nova Scotia. This was one of the best times I have had in my life. Not so much money but a lot of great friends and a lot of wonderful crazy memories. This was 2001.   I couldn’t  keep myself enjoying all of this for too long though. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I felt a strong pull from some other place, but I couldn’t figure out where. Also traditional psychology and psychotherapy was not coming along too well with me. I have always been an avid researcher of the human mind and medicines being the solution of most things was simply not very acceptable to me. Call me smartypants but I finished all my PSY books and read some more but they weren’t able to answer a lot of question that I kept on asking. However, this was alright as the last word in human mind functions is very far from in. But I couldn’t wait for them to update their text books 15 years later, I had other missions to fulfill. In 2002 I dropped out of college and came back to Dhaka because I didn’t know where else to go. For the first 6 months I did absolutely nothing as I had no capital no manpower, only a burning desire to do something that will not only enable be to have the life that I wanted to have, but also help all those who are in need of help. First I started off with non government development organization designed to help the ultra poor women and social outcasts. The first 4 months I had no project, no fund, no office, only two employees who believed that I was a good man who might make it one day. On the 4th month we got our first government project. And with the savings we got a small one room shared office. This one project led to the second project, which led to the third and which led to many more. We dealt with helping underprivileged women and children, social outcasts and the ultra poor. In 2003, I started my own business venture for the first time which was importing low cost motor bikes and selling it to other NGOs working in rural areas. Then I started exporting recycled mineral water bottles to China. Then I founded the first ever development portal designed to coordinate the development sector and facilitate communication with the donors and the NGOs and the common people. This was inaugurated by the President of the country. In 2004, I moved my office in to Singapore to better facilitate communication and bought my first apartment. I also founded a matchmaking agency which got featured on the Straights Times – The national newspaper of Singapore. In 2005, I bought shares of a small American power company who operate in underdeveloped countries like Bangladesh and I nearly went bankrupt. But then I wasn’t going to give up so easily. After suffering for more 10 months and putting in a lot of smart labor (I don’t believe in hard labor), I got back double of what I invested. Also in 2005, I became a certified Master Hypnotist and also got my diploma in HypnoTherapy. I became a member of the National Guild of Hypnotists in USA and I started practicing in Singapore on a part time basis. And this is when I understood what my true calling was. My true calling was to help people. To help them find their dreams, to help them become all that they can become. To teach them how to redefine reality!          Now at this point, I don't have to work anymore. I delegate everything to managers. But I love to help people who come to me for help. Other than that, I spend my days learning about different ways to improve my understanding of how to more effectively help more and more people.  I travel all over the world learning from the best minds on the planet (People who've actually got out in the real world and “Made it happen!”) I enjoy helping other people reach their goals. Helping somebody improve their life is the best feeling in the world...well second best. I'm also a motivational speaker and I do a live 3 day seminar once a month on self hypnosis and meditation.   Due to great demand, I've recently finished writing a book for all my students around the world which covers all that I have learnt on how to become all that you can become. To summarize, I now do development work for the ultra poor in Bangladesh, have a successful practice in hypnotherapy in Singapore and Dhaka, run an American power company, and about to publish a book very soon. Sounds like all I do is work, doesn't it? Well, it's just the opposite. I have more free time now than ever. How? I delegate everything except the writing and the therapy sessions. We all work at unique ability. What's a (typical) day is like for me.... Is to wake at the sound of the opportunity clock and workout for an hour. IMPORTANT NOTICE: I like to work out. It’s important for me. If I dont work out, I'll get old and fat and ugly faster. Not good. I hope you like to work out as well because... well... I think I just said it. I'm also all about making myself better. I'm not a self improvement freak... but... well, yes I AM a self improvement freak! Deal with it. I like it that my life and how I feel about my life get better every day. Almost everyday I usually watch educational videos from seminars for 2-3 hours. Then I will listen to audio tapes, read or write for 2 hours. (With breaks in between.) If I feel like goofing off I can and I do. I like to take a vacation every two months and go on cruises, travel, or just hang out on the beach. I also listen to tapes/cds while driving in my car. I have a huge collection of educational books, videos and cd/audio cassettes. Gist: I love to learn new things, don't you? I'm committed Kaizan, which is the constant and continuous improvement of my business and personal skills, and like the most successful people on earth, I practice the principle of the slight edge. (Ask me to explain this to you sometime.) Truth is, very few people are seriously, sincerely, devotely committed to success and their personal relationship. Most have lots of wants but little commitment. There is a direct and definite link between commitment and results. If you aren't fully satisfied with your results, evaluate your commitment. I have the same passion and commitment for my personal relationships as I do my business ones. I make time for the person I am in love with, do you? If you have anything you would like to know, ask me. Act like you've known me your whole life. That is my personality when it comes to learning about someone. Let's have fun and enjoy this wonderful life we (get to live)...together!. I would love to meet a woman who knows what she wants out of life. Knows how to love completely and unselfishly and is not afraid of intimacy. Someone who has a great sense of humor and is fairly good looking. I am not looking for a GODDESS... just someone who is fit and good looking to me. To summarize... I am looking for a friendship that will lead into a long-term relationship and will only reply back to those looking for the same. Imagine, what it's like, when you come home to... THE MAN YOU LOVE and he loves you even more and shows it. You'll see and feel all kinds of safety, wonder, intrigue, desire, adventure, someone you can just be yourself with, someone you can talk about anything with.... all the things that a wonderful loving relationship would entail. I’m love gorgeous sunsets while partaking in any and all of the following activities... billiards, ping pong, darts, Jacuzzi, swimming pool, etc. I also enjoy jet skiing, canoeing, sky diving (very soon), and golf (beginner). One last piece of interesting information about me...I'm like the world's best seesaw rider... I just need somebody on the other end, to make it more enjoyable. Somebody like the one and only woman I’d love to come home to. My Final Thoughts... I don't know you and you don't know me (yet)... however... if you're not with someone who is with you in the way that you TRULY want them to be... maybe we owe it to each other to talk... hang out... see if we can ... enjoy each other... feel those butterflies. If there is a number you would be comfortable having me call you at, then email it to me along with some pictures and some info about you to blue_1490@yahoo.com I don't know if you can imagine this as I describe it, but I'll bet if we talked on the phone, we'd not only really enjoy talking, but we'd look forward to doing it again. It takes a rare woman to have read all of this. You are very sincere in your search, like me, aren’t you?